Tuesday, November 18, 2014

In which I get how big all of this is, no really I do...

You have to have some pretty thick skin to pull this whole adoption thing off.  Here's why, because no one asks you the same types of questions when there's a big ole baby bump showing that they do when they hear, or see or know that you're adopting.  No one asks the pregnant woman what she plans on doing if her little baby in utero has wicked tantrums and mental illness when he/she is older.  No one asks her if she's scared of the damage she'll have to tend to if for whatever reason someone harms her baby with words or actions.  No one asks why she chose to be pregnant instead of adopt, I mean there are so many children who need good homes why on earth would you choose to build your family this way when it's possible for you to have your own bio kids?  No one asks how much your hospital bill was or gives you a pat on the back and says "you're doing a really great thing having sex and growing that baby in your belly...they'll thank you when their older."
It's fair to bring this up not because I want people to feel badly for those of us who CHOOSE this as their family building path but rather raise awareness for the support that people in situations of adoption need when they may very well be doubting this choice themselves.
Since we've been open about our current plan to bring four sibling into our home and adopt them we have been met with a few different types of people but the one that really really intrigues are the ones who question if we're prepared for the difficulty.  To you I say, no.  I'm not prepared for imaginary difficulty right now.  I'm not prepared for imaginary chaos.  Who can honestly say they're prepared for every last scenario when it comes to parenting a child let alone FIVE, four of whom have been deeply wounded and have suffered great loss?  No one.  Not a single person can answer that differently than I just did.  You want to know the truth?  I get it.  I really really get it.  I understand what this may mean for us.  I understand that it may mean years of never going anywhere because there are too many triggers when it comes time to leave the house, I do know that they may not call me mom for a long time or even say I love you, I know they might not hug me back, I am aware that Emery will suffer a bit in the beginning as we transition into this new life.  All of these things I know, we know and it just doesn't change a single thing because SOMEBODY has to care for them right?  In some capacity that's what we're called to do.  Somebody has to be ok with not being loved back as a result of them not being loved properly in the first place.  Somebody has to be ok with getting multiple phone calls from school because the only kind of attention they ever got as toddlers was negative attention.  We're ready and willing for these next several years, we've thought about it, prayed about it and the only thing we wish would be different would be that their first mother would have experienced what she should have as a little girl and learned how to be a mother to her own children.
We get it.  It's going to change us, it's going to change relationships.  Again, we know this has always been where God wants us.


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Sunday, November 16, 2014

In which my oldest brings me to my knees...

Ya'll, this process is hard.  No matter how you slice it in adoption land every avenue of bringing a child into your home is met with its fair share of challenges, road blocks, victories and disappointments.  There are moments where you feel as though it may never end...that they'll never actually BE here, in your home, in their beds safe and sound.  This has been my struggle these last couple of weeks.
My oldest son, whom I have yet to meet, is struggling badly in his current (and 5th) foster placement.  During our last conference call with "the team" it was brought to our attention that he is ONE of SIX other foster children in the home and also his foster mom speaks of his bad behaviors directly in front him while his head hangs low in confused disappointment in himself.  I'm sure he wonders why he does these things, why he can't have normal feelings like other seven year olds but instead is faced with grown up emotions like distrust, hurt, fear, anxiety and sadness.  Why is it that no one has committed to love him and care for him through this horrible time in his life?  Why don't adults say what they mean and mean what they say?  In his short seven years this boy of mine has experienced more loss and heartache then most adults can handle in a lifetime and quite simply....I can't wait to get my mitts on him.  I'm sure there will be some rejection, I'm quite certain that his "behaviors" will increase and that I'll be tearful almost every day over tending to this broken little heart but for us, for HIM it's worth it.  I had this fleeting thought the other day that brought me to my knees in prayer for him...when was the last time someone hugged him?  Like a good solid lingering hug where fears are melted and protection is felt.  I prayed immediately for his protection and for God to begin mending his terribly broken heart and more importantly that the love of His Savior will be a concept He will run full speed into.

To my dear oldest boy,
I love you already.  No matter what.  We're in this for the long haul.  Hurry home, we're waiting for you.

Love,
Mom

Monday, October 27, 2014

In which we bring the fantastic four home...


So yeah, there's this little happening...or should I say four little happenings that are taking up an immense amount of brain space for us these days!  At the end of August we were officially selected as the "adoptive resource" for a sibling group of four children living in Missouri in separate foster homes.  These sweet little lambs have been living apart from each other for two years now and well, it's time to get them (and us) all under ONE roof!  We've had some pretty decent bumps in the road and definitely some moments of feeling overwhelmed but you know what?  Ain't no thang.  Sure it's terrifying sometimes but it's necessary.  We have ALWAYS felt the pull on our hearts to build our family in this way and we must step out in faith knowing He will provide us the strength to show His grace to these broken little hearts and meet them where they're at even in the darkest of places.  God has well equipped us with the wherewithal and the support from people around us to bring these four home which brings me to our fundraising campaign using GoFundMe.  GoFundMe allows people to create a campaign, set a fundraising goal and share with family and friends!  So what does this mean for us financially as a family?  It means we have to ready our home to accommodate four additional children and go from a family of three to a family of SEVEN.  This includes various home projects, like purchasing furniture, bedding and extras such as bikes, clothing and toys, gas and hotel costs for several trips out to Missouri.  A "typical" family of five children grows into these kinds of needs and can make these adjustments along the way.  These dear hearts will more than likely come to us with a little bit of clothing and maybe a few favorite toys but beyond that no a whole lot.  It's important to us that they feel special and cared for on their very first visit to our home.  We're asking others to stand in the gap for these children by providing funding for the things listed above.  One of the most beautiful things about adoption is seeing the body of Christ come together and help provide a safe and loving home environment for these children who have come from a pretty horrible family situation.  We truly want to thank those that have already given in some capacity whether it be monetary, or by praying, or even donating items to our garage sale.  We can't wait for this story to unfold and for these four to come him to a community who already loves them!

Here's the link for our fundraising campaign!  Will you help spread the word using social media?  We'd love to knock this out of the park!!!!
http://www.gofundme.com/fantasticfour


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Monday, July 7, 2014

In which I explain the silence...and my little sparrows.

I struggle most days with what to share and what not to share in regards to our adoption process.  Most All of the time it has to do with damage control.  I'm generally pretty private when it comes to emotions or attachment to ideas or processes because well, that's the way I roll.  Is it the best way to deal with things?  Not always.  Five years ago I started this blog as a way for me to vent and shed light on this process as a whole.  I didn't have much to offer in the beginning, I mainly spoke to the initial process of choosing agencies blah blah blah then quickly moved on to other things like when a birth mom changes her mind after you've held your almost baby or that sometimes I just never feel like I'm doing enough for the cause of orphans while I sit in my air conditioned living room in my sleepy little college town.
Writing for me has always been very therapeutic, I don't know that I excel at it but I do know that I need it to unleash what's all bound up in my brain.
The way my brain works is, the more people know about a particular situation the more questions I am asked that I might not be prepared to answer.  The more people know about a particular situation the more people I have to tell how I'm really feeling IF it doesn't work out...which brings me to the silence on the blog for the last two months.  A few weeks into April I was directed to a website that included state photo listings for children who are ready to be adopted out of foster care.  Talk about a thunder punch to the face!  Can you imagine what that must be like for those children?  In order to be on this photo listing these kids would have to be legally free for adoption which means they've been in foster care for at LEAST a year and I would bet a million bucks much much longer than that.  As I was perusing this strange avenue of "family building", I saw them.  All four like little brown ducks in a row (ages 7,5,4 & 2), all their names begin with "J" and all of their skin matches Emery's perfectly.  Tyler and I have always been a little cray when it comes to all or nothing scenarios and have mentioned several times that we would love to adopt a sibling group AT SOME POINT, however we really imagined it being later in life when our other children were older or even out of the house.  So I did what any self respecting "all or nothing" girl does and sent our home study to the social worker.  Act now.  Ask questions later.  Which happens to be the polar opposite of my beloved.  Immediately I rallied the troops and began asking for specific prayer in regards to the safety of these children and whether or not God would have them become a part of our family and just last week found out that we have been chosen for a final interview with the social workers etc of these children.  We are not the only family in this final interview process however we do not know how many others there are.  Guys, lest you think we've completely lost our minds we have had many sleepless nights and a great many discussions on how this will change the dynamic of our family should these children be chosen for us.  We have consulted close friends and sought our Father in prayer during these last several weeks and both of us feel as though the door has not specifically been closed as of yet.  For whatever reason this is a new part of our journey and even though the thought of the potential "no" makes me want to dive head first into a bag of Doritos I must know.  I do know.  That He places the lonely in families and whether or not that family is our family this time He knows what's best for these fantastic four and "Not a single sparrow can fall to the ground without your Father knowing it" (Matt 10:29).
So if you're like me and want to see a list of specifics to pray for here it is:
1.  That the interview would go smoothly and we'll feel good about the way we are presenting ourselves and our potential as parents to five children.
2.  That these children would remain safe and cared for in their respective foster homes.
3.  That God would begin preparing their new family for all of the changes and behaviors associated with said changes in order to prepare them for a lifetime with the same parents.
4.  Specifically for the oldest boy who has some lingering emotional issues due to his past living environment.
5.  For their foster parents (three sets to be exact, brothers live separate and the sisters live together) as they begin to wrap up life with these four and hope for true success with their new family.

Here is what I know about them.  Two boys, two girls who have successfully stolen my heart and my brain space for the better part of eight weeks.  Four kids who have garnered a nickname (The Fantastic Four) amongst close friends and family.  Sisters and brothers who have experienced more in their little lives than I ever care to know is humanly possible.  Little sparrows who's Father has a watchful eye on their path and is carefully handpicking for them a new home and a new start.

Sometimes damage control is overrated.  At least for me.  Tonight it was.

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Monday, May 5, 2014

In which sometimes I struggle...

Sometimes I struggle with whether or not I'm doing enough for the cause of orphans.  Sometimes I wonder if domestic adoption is gritty enough, and down in the trenches enough.  Sometimes I struggle with fundraising and that big big number.  Sometimes I struggle with those children who are in foster care and in need of good homes, the struggle being "is this something we can do?"  I struggle with wanting to adopt a child with special needs and having a spouse who is not ready to do that.  The tension between exploring other options that are placed in our path but not abandoning what we originally set out to do.  Then I realize very quickly, my Father knows my struggle.  In fact He may be the very person who has given me these things to struggle through.  So here's to the struggle, the balance between faith and trust and the unknown.



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Saturday, March 22, 2014

In which Operation Sweet Lamb is in beast mode....

Tyler and I love adoption, this is no secret.  We love to talk about it, dream about it, help others through the process of it, we just seriously love it.  In the last few weeks we have prayerfully considered which avenues to explore when it comes to fundraising as well as personally saving our own money towards the total that we need to raise.  In the last five weeks we have seen God move in unbelievable ways, undeniably His ways which is so exciting for us!  We have said from the beginning of this journey that He chose this for us, there is no doubt and we are most excited to meet this new little guy or girl however there is a major financial boundary.  Even though we've covered costs out of our own pockets initially for some things (i.e. fingerprinting, background checks, copies of certain records, physical exams) the remaining that we need to raise is still great.  Tyler and I have a friend who raised money for their adoption a few years ago leveraging social media and their friends and family who felt called gave their little hearts out and they were able to cover almost their entire $10,000.  The best part?  In 2012 they brought home the most adorable little girl ever!  Because they asked and because they believed and because their friends and family felt the pull to give!  Both Tyler and I agree that one of our favorite things about Emery's process was after we brought her home we invited those who gave time, money, stuff for garage sales, and prayer and sat them all in a room.  We looked around and were so overwhelmed to be holding her in arms and to be able to personally thank face to face some of those who were faithful to our process during that time.  Do you even know how amazing that feels?
So at the risk of not being too wordy and sappy :0) here's what we've prayed for....if every single one of our Facebook friends gave $45 towards our adoption we would have our full amount of $30,000 raised.  Now, we completely understand that some are in a position to give more and some are in a position to give less but we know that God will work in the hearts of those who are to give and that is what makes this process so amazing!
Lets break it down:

1.  Click here to be redirected to our PayPal page.  PayPal does NOT require you to have an account already set up to do this. *Donations are a private gift and are not tax deductible*



2.  If the best way for you to give is not through using a credit or debit card then you can send your donation to:
Tyler & Kari Zielasko
205 14th Street
Winona Lake, IN 46590
memo line: zielasko adoption

What we covet more than anything though?  Prayer.  We simply cannot do this process without people praying for us and we certainly don't want you to think that if you're unable to give financially that there isn't a place for you in our process.  We will need hands and hearts to be united in other fundraising ventures where items and time are donated as well!  We are so excited to have you along for this journey!

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Monday, March 10, 2014

In which I answer some questions and share a story...

I've had several people ask me recently how this process works.  Like what are the steps of which we're taking and specifically where are we in this process.  Currently we are working with an agency based out of Fort Wayne called Catholic Charities of Fort Wayne.  They are the actual agency who will be conducting our home study update however we will not be using them for actual adoption placement services.  Because we have an existing home study from our previous adoption we were fortunate enough to only have to pay the update fee instead of the entire home study fee (which saved us about $1,000).  Have I mentioned how expensive adoption is?  Anywho, the guts of what we had from Florida still works but that still means we had to redo a TON of the paperwork.  During this paperwork time we are answering questions about our childhood, getting physicals, making copies of drivers licenses, social security cards, health insurance, life insurance, asking people to be references, background checks, fingerprinting, employment verification, you name it.  We've done it.  We are almost finished with the paperwork portion which as of right now has taken about five weeks.  Once we mail all of our stuff (or drop it off) to CCFW they will check everything we have and make sure we still qualify for an adoptive placement based on what our paperwork says.  After this we will schedule a home study visit which means the social worker will come to our home and check us out.  Make sure we aren't hoarders with 29 cats, have smoke detectors and a place for the wee beeby to sleep.  After she does this she will actually "write" our home study, send us a proof, and upon our approval of it she will make it final.  You cannot adopt without a home study, at least in the state of Indiana you cannot.  We will use CCFW again when we need our interstate compact (if the baby is born outside of Indiana) and post placement visits.  I will explain that compact thing in a later post.  It's at this point we actual begin our relationship with Faithful Adoption Consultants, and adoption consultant agency based out of Atlanta.  They will give us access to all of the grants that we can apply for and also help us with our family profile book too.  The advantage of using an adoption is consultant is that they advocate for US when it comes to matching the families together.  They also have relationships with MANY agencies and lawyers so essentially we will be on several agency lists which means our actual wait for a baby would be very very minimal.  Like their average client waits four months or LESS.  I've seen on their Facebook page couples get matched within a day of becoming active.  Holy moley.  Also, after you've completed your home study you can apply for grants and such which our adoption consultant gives the names of some that she has had the biggest success with which helps me not waste time.  We will hit those grant apps hard and be fundraising all at the same time.  Once we've reached our goal of  $30,000 (GULP) fundraising we'll give Faithful Adoption Consultants the green light and they'll start presenting our file to birth moms.  WAHOOOOOO!  So when people say, "oh this is so exciting!  How soon will the baby be here?  What's the timeline?"  If we had $30K we'd probably have a baby in four months or less.  Without $30K we're at the mercy of savings and generous gifting which given our current status of super awesome surprises in regards to giving lately we're well on our way!  So that's sort of the ins and outs of the process.  I'll write more about post placement stuff at a later date, for now...enjoy this rad story of something cool that happened to us yesterday.  



We received an anonymous letter in the mail today and $100 towards our adoption fund.  Attached was this letter, of which I immediately put in a file to be added to our newest additions keepsake box.  Guys...can I even tell you what this does for me?  It does my heart so much good to know that there are people, some of whom I've never met that are praying for our process.  That is priceless.  The honest 100% truth is, had I received JUST this letter in the mail today and NO money...I still would have thought it was the coolest part of my day.  And I'm not just saying that because during this process everyone's support role is very different.  Some have the ability to give monetarily and others are the prayer warriors who help see this through, then there are the ones donate or volunteer time instead of funds.  Those friends are just as important and play as much of an active role as friends and family who send us money.  Honest.  In the last couple of weeks we have seen God's faithfulness to us without question!  Surprises like this aren't surprises to the One who stirred up this desire within Tyler and myself to parent adopted children...He funds what He favors.  I'm seeing that firsthand and it's quite possible the coolest thing ever.

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Wednesday, March 5, 2014

In which I protect baby mama's...

So the first time around (oh my that sounds so sophisticated, like we have it all figured out..PSYCH), it was a little surreal to pray for a baby in a strange woman's belly.  We didn't have anything to compare our experience to, we didn't know what parenthood was like or the challenges it would create especially within the confines of adoption.  But I'll tell you what is turbo cool.  When you're in bed at night praying with your husband and he begins to pray for your future baby mama.  I'll tell you right now it melts my heart into a puddle of nonsense and I just don't want him to stop.  My love for birth moms is something I never shy away from discussing, in fact I talked my hairdressers ear off about baby mama's the other day until she was crying so that should tell you something.  She didn't give me a discount on my hair though, which I mean come on you can't cut me a break?  I digress...I love those baby mamas so very much.  I love their willpower, I love their fear and determination, I love their pioneering spirit.  I do not, however, love the stereotypes these women encounter, the judgement of why they can't just get their act together, the expectation that she'll do "this" again, the attitude that all their stories are the same and will always be the same.  Don't even get me started on that or I will lose my brains (and blog followers).  
So when I say that I pray for Em's baby mama and for this new little nuggets baby mama I'm praying for peace, and direction, and for love to be shown to this woman whether I think she "deserves" it or not.  I'm praying that her broken heart will heal over time, and that God would place someone in her path to help pave the way to a relationship with Christ that will change the way she thinks about love and fulfillment and family and acceptance because you see adoption isn't just about the baby at the end of the rainbow, it's about HER too and how SHE'S a part of this journey as much as we are and HER ending means SHE'S leaving the hospital without HER very own child in HER arms because that's what SHE chose.  And that's what SHE will have to live with.  So it's MY job as baby mama #2 to make sure that SHE knows SHE'S my hero, and that SHE is shown the love of a God who chose her for His family as much as SHE chose me for HERS.



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Tuesday, March 4, 2014

In which God provides (three times) before I even asked...


Oddly enough, except it's not odd at all, my last post spoke to my true feelings regarding adoption fundraising and how it really highlights my insecurities about "asking people to help buy my baby".  Thursday night after revisiting some initial home study paperwork I found myself feeling very discouraged.  I discovered that our home study agency was requiring us to take four online classes at around $30-$35 a pop as a part of completing the home study.  They gave us a specific list of the four classes ALL of which are geared more towards first time parents, first time adoptive parents and parents who will be new to parenting an African American child.  To say I was annoyed would be a lot of an understatement.  WHY?!  I thought.  Why is this necessary, this is a financial obstacle that in my mind is completely unnecessary for a second time adoptive family and only further delays the process.  After I ranted for about ten minutes I decided it was best that I go to sleep and try and begin the day feeling less discouraged and more in tune to the fact that God has a desire for us to adopt again and He's going to do a mighty work in people's hearts when it comes to giving.  Friday morning I decided to send a text out to a couple of close friends and Tyler.  Just asking for prayer in regards to my attitude that day and just the frustration that I was feeling.  On my drive to work I cried out during my prayer time and asked for God to just be NEAR me that day.  I was desperate to feel His peace and comfort to get me through the day and over this hump.  That evening I was driving to Michigan to spend the weekend with my inlaws and received a call from a friend of mine who is in the midst of fostering a little one.  We generally exchange prayer requests and random texts just letting each other know that we get it.  That sometimes it sucks but that we were chosen for this and in the end it'll all be worth it. In the course of the phone call we touched on my day as it were, and she said to me.  "Kari, last night before bed I was praying about what to do with some extra money God had blessed our family with.  We'd like to cover the cost of your entire adoption consultant fee."  I can't make this up.  In case you're wondering?  That fee is...was $2500.  Since we have started this process (30 days ago) we have had more money donated than we did in NINE months with Emery which brings me to this next thought.  Who is this baby God has for us right now that He's moving so fast?  You see with Emery's process which to us seemed to move more slowly, we now know that it moved at the perfect pace because it had to be Emery and no one else.  But this new little one?  Perhaps they're living in the womb of someone who is already in their third trimester.  Or maybe there's a different path unknown to us and they're actually already born!  This is what I know.  God funds what He favors and He has proven this to us multiple times in the last 30 days and He will continue for the next several months if need be!
So what's the time line you ask?  Well, right now we're in the throws of paperwork for our home study.  We have fingerprinting appointments set up for next Monday (3/10), and subsequent doctors appointments for required physicals.  Once all paperwork is completed and turned in to our home study agency they will meld everything together and actually write our "new" one.  Sprinkle in at least one home visit and we're looking at completion of this in probably 60 days.  During this time we will begin to formulate some hard core fundraising efforts because we'll need to raise about $30,000 (give or take)!  Am I scared of that number?  30 days ago the answer would have been yes but now the answer is most certainly, no.  In the wise words of my husband, "We felt God moving us in this direction, so He is going to provide.  Even if someone donates, it's not them, it's God prompting them and moving them to give.  We're not asking anything.  We're providing a way for God to work through someone else."  Man I love that guy and his wisdom and insight.
And the other two times He provided before we asked?  Once I was sitting in a movie theater and someone who saw that I had "checked in" there on Facebook hand delivered a check for $500 to me while I was sitting in the movie theater, and the third time?  Well that was just your "average" we-want-to-give-you-money-for-your-adoption, check in the mail type situation.  God is so good.

Here are a few ways you can help us during this process!
1.  PRAY!  We cannot do this without people praying for us, it's just that simple.  Pray for our fundraising efforts and especially pray for the birth mom that God would soothe her heart during this time of growing a baby and placing the baby in our arms.
2.  Donate via Paypal
3.  Check us out over at Just Love Coffee Roasters and for every bag of coffee purchased $5 goes towards our adoption fundraising goal!



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Thursday, February 27, 2014

In which we ask people to help fund our adoption...

I started three, count them three, different blog posts before this one because I just wasn't feelin' it.  They seemed too mechanical for me at the time because honestly, it's not where my heart and my mind is at right now.  Back in late December when God literally laid this plan out for us and spoke very clearly to us regarding this process both of us thought to ourselves...oh great, how on earth will we pay for this adoption.  The mere thought of fundraising, campaigning, support letters, and grant applications almost made me puke.  Why?  Because do you have any idea what it's like to ask people to help finance your adoption?  Unless you've done it before you just don't know what it's like.  It sucks.  Because of this reason my eyes and ears are very much in tune to reactions, facial expressions, underhanded comments or questions and my insecurities are raging at this point.  I don't expect everyone to understand why we choose this process for building our family.  I don't expect people to give towards our process but I always go into things like this with the expectation that people will be kind which is a lofty goal and maybe, ahem definitely, naive.
It's hard ya'll.  It's really really hard, and I'm not boo hooing about all of this for you to feel bad for me.  This blog is intended to be a very raw, very accurate portrayal of all different facets of this process, this one in particular is the one that stings the most.  But this is what I know, God funds what He favors.  And He chose this for us and the first time we did this with Emery he provided not more, not less but literally the EXACT amount we needed to pay her fees.  So even though the number we need to raise is high, I don't know that it will actually be "our" number.  It could be less.



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Wednesday, February 19, 2014

In which we begin this crazy ride all over again...



In a six weeks we have had two birth moms discuss placing their children for adoption with us. Both have fallen through for varying very private and sometimes sad reasons but what's important here is...we aren't with an agency. We aren't "looking". Our home study is old. Sometimes we like having one kid.  Sometimes. It's no secret how much I love this process, if you know me well you know that it's quite possibly the thing I love to talk about the most. The process that I identify with, the end result that I crave and the stories that break me. There are times when it's painful, like for us right now but you know what? The times when those children who aren't biologically yours tell you they missed you today and that they love you most and best and you're their favorite that far outweigh the pain and agony of getting to that point. For us, we don't know what these last two experiences have meant. We haven't identified yet what our role was in either of those women's lives but I can say we were there. Wherever that was supposed to be and the wild ride of which we didn't ask to be on continues to who knows where next.... 

I wrote the previous blog post a good nine weeks ago and decided for whatever reason not to post it. This blog has always been something very special to me. I probably have no less than 10 unpublished posts for varying reasons. You see if I've had a big day with lots of big thoughts especially those related to adoption I come running home to this here blog and spill my guts. It has always been incredibly cathartic for me, writing that is, and I'm happy to feel the release of stresses and thoughts with just typing from my brain onto a computer screen. So we're doing it for real again!  After those last couple of adventures it became increasingly clear that we aren't finished building our family through adoption. In fact God has made it wildly obvious in a sort of funny way. Back in August we had chatted about the future of our family, whether or not to continue building it, whether or not we were done and in the end we decided we were "good for now". It sounded good, sort of a way to stave off others curiosity and questioning when it comes to how old Emery is and it "being about time" to have another baby. Well that lasted approximately two months before these offers came rolling in. Oh my dear Heavenly Father, I like when you operate this way. It speaks to me on so many levels...humor being the one I relate to the most. So buckle up old faithful readers (and welcome to some new ones!) that I'm not even certain read this blog anymore. We're beginning this process and will need your prayerful support because the truth is, it's expensive and we are stepping out in faith that this "thing" God has so clearly called us as a family to do will be fully funded by our own efforts in saving as well as a large amount of fundraising. In the next couple of posts I'll explain why God chose adoption for our family and a little bit more detail of the actual process. To answer one very large question, we are adopting domestically (aka here in the states) and more than likely an african american infant. This process changes frequently and Tyler and I are under no assumptions that it could switch paths frequently! As my good pal Jen Hatmaker, whom I've never met and doesn't know I exist once said..."If God has seeded us with vision, then we are able in Christ." Giddyup.

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