Sunday, May 12, 2013

To my big girl on Mother's Day...

It's Mother's Day today, our third one together actually. Do you know how amazing you are? Do you know how beautiful and smart and caring and intuitive you are? Do you know how lucky people are to know YOU? I know I'm lucky to know you. I know that out of all the kids on this whole earth God chose you for ME. He knew I'd need you. He knew that you'd need me. You see this works both ways pretty girl. I needed you to fill the void of mama which you have done above and beyond, I needed you to fill the need I had to parent a child whose own parents couldn't. I needed you to show me that I can make mistakes and flub this "mothering" stuff up and you flat out don't care. Eventually the reality of being adopted will make its way into our every day conversations. You'll ask questions. You'll feel the loss. You'll be confused and maybe even hurt. You'll need me then sweetheart. You'll need me to tell the stories of how we came to know you that Friday night in October. You'll need me to tell you that I constantly checked your breathing on the way home because you were so quiet in the backseat that we forgot you were there. You'll need me to show you the pictures of you in your first mama's belly and tell her super hero story. I'll eventually need you to tell me that you love me just the same. I'll need you to tell me that you get it, that even though it hurts you totally get it. These are my prayers for us on Mother's Day. Our need for each other will come and go in just the right moments because you and I? We're clutch like that. Sweet Emery, it's my greatest privilege and honor to have you call me "mama" every day. I can not imagine my life without you in it. You are the smartest, funniest, sassiest, most beautiful, stubborn and caring little girl I've ever had the fortune of knowing. May you always know that the most important thing is how you show your Savior's love to others.

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