Saturday, May 4, 2013

Defining...definition...defined...

2012 was a defining year for us. Normally I'd be able to pinpoint a certain defining moment, that actual incident that was the definition of what was most certainly the hardest year of our lives but alas we were worked over pretty much nonstop. My silence on this blog recently hasn't been because I have nothing to say anymore in fact it's quite the contrary. I have a lot to say about what I've learned about marriage, rolling with the punches, parenthood, what makes me happy, what makes me sad, and who I really want to be as a wife, mother, sister, believer, and friend. Several times I'd sit down poised and ready to just let go of some things because writing/journaling is unbelievably cathartic for me but I couldn't follow through. It was too much. Too many topics. Too much complaining or too much offending (which generally the offending thing doesn't usually stop me). Instead, I'm going to focus on the fact that 2013 is a freaking "do over" year where things start fresh, we'll stop taking score, we'll mend, we'll break free, we'll actually affect change and maintain. ....So, I started this post on January 1st of this year. I didn't finish because I think I was interrupted or even sometimes I leave it alone for a bit until the juices that are flowing start to form a little more cohesion. Consider this. Cohesion formed. Juices now have direction. We've seen God bless us in amazing ways over the last few months and oddly enough very few of those blessings have to do with "stuff" or things we thought we needed but more to do with what we didn't realize was missing in the first place. He's cool like that. Sprinkling little bread crumbs in front of us leading down the path he had planned for us all along. Or at least for now. I'm very thankful and grateful for a Father who knows and meets my needs before I realize the need exists.

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