Thursday, August 16, 2012
I have a very good friend who is experiencing adoption on the flip side this week. She watched her daughter give her baby up for adoption. She watched a new life enter the world and then kissed it goodbye. She watched her daughter painfully come to terms with her own deficits and then make the wisest, hardest, most selfless, best decision for her child EVER. To this day I've never known anyone who has experienced the very opposite of what I experienced. I've never been a witness to the pain involved in the process and if I'm being honest I'm a thousand miles away and I felt it. I felt for her. You see, what makes this story "interesting" is that she herself is adopted and knows the heartbreak that this baby will inevitably come to terms with...I can't even imagine. I love birth moms and I've said this many times before, they are my heros. I don't care how they got there, I just care that they made it and that they didn't take the "easy" way out. I care that they gave a gift to someone who more than likely tried for a very long time to make a gift of their own. I care that they endured pain and will continue to endure pain even after they go home empty handed. I care that they say goodbye to their babies and a piece of them is forever lost but they still do it. They still move forward. They still say goodbye and I love you. I love you forever and I'm sorry I can't do this. I hope you understand. I found myself thinking this week about the struggle of birth moms after they return home and resume their lives. Putting away their maternity clothes, staring at their large post pregnancy belly. Do strangers ask them when they're due? Do people who recognized them from before ask about the baby? You see, their pain doesn't end when they come to terms with placing their child in someone else's arms forever...it continues on even after all of this. While the new parents adjust to life with a newborn she's adjusting to life without. Oh my sweet birth mom heros, you are some of my favorite people in the whole wide world.