Friday, July 27, 2012
I believe I've touched briefly on "causes". What makes it important to you is not for anyone to decide, for example Whale Wars. I could never ever imagine devoting my life to saving whales but people are serious about that stuff and truth be told...I don't think what is happening to the whales is fair or ok at all I just know there are other issues stealing my attention. Ones that don't cause intense motion sickness or the possibility of having to wear a wet suit. Facebook is so telling. Where peoples importance lies and how far they are really willing to go for that "cause", and sometimes it makes me sad. Other times it pumps me UP! Other times it's discouraging because darnit I want to be passionate and involved in a lot of things! Orphans are my cause. Orphans are my ticket to tears every. single. time. I can't imagine what some of them are thinking. As we gear up for the potential to adopt again our minds always wander towards our options. Domestic again? International? Foster Care? Tyler and I have always agreed that we'll go where the need is the greatest. I'm sorry to say that the need is the greatest everywhere. Children in foster care need us. Newborn babies waiting to placed in a domestic adoption need us. Children who are truly orphaned by disease, poverty, slavery? They need us too. Sibling groups? Special needs? Older children? My hands are tied. They all freaking need us. They all need us and truth be told Tyler and I are only two people with one very small bank account. Whenever I see photos of children waiting to be adopted my heart literally breaks. I mean seriously, there is NOTHING that brings me to my knees quicker than to see an orphaned child posing for a photograph. Some have sad eyes. They are the ones that know. They know it isn't normal to live in a home like that. They know it isn't normal that their mommy and daddy don't come around anymore. They know it isn't normal to sleep in a room with a bunch of other children they don't even know. Those sad eyed little ones just rip my heart to shreds. Then there are the oblivious ones. The ones who God has gifted with the ability to make lemonade out of the lemons. The optimistic fighters who are still holding out hope that THEY are worth it. That someone will love them eventually if they just keep on keeping on. They are my very favorite because they invoke change without even knowing it. They provide hope without even trying. The damaged ones are whole other story. They are the ones who doubt. They doubt they are in the right place. They doubt they are lovable and they most certainly doubt they can be happy again. They've seen things they shouldn't have seen and they know beyond a shadow of a doubt that everything is NOT going to be ok. That things will not resolve themselves and that this isn't fair. These children aren't their friends. This bed is not their bed. Their "new" parents aren't their parents. The damaged ones are my project. They are the ones I'd like to prove wrong. They are the ones that have the capacity to love beyond measure however they have nobody to show love to. Oh my sweet babies...to take you home with me whenever I felt the need would be the happiest day of my life. To fill my home to the brim with children who need it is my sincerest and greatest dream...and of course that they all call me mama.