Saturday, May 12, 2012

Starving for the basics...Part One

I've neglected my dear blog recently. I find that when things are tough and we're in transition (hello current state) I struggle with figuring out what to write and when to write it and do people even like to read it if it doesn't have to do with adoption or Emery. The thing is, I formed this space coming up on two years ago. To allow myself a way to decompress all of the info that was being thrown my way. It transitioned into an "adoption process" blog, to a "done with the adoption process look at my pretty, amazing miracle child" blog, to "boo hoo my husband lost his dream job, we moved away from my entire family to a podunk town, but isn't my kid still the most amazing thing on the planet" blog. That's a lot of different things all wrapped up into one space and quite frankly. If no one besides my dear friend Fran and my sister Kelly read this then who the crap cares, eh? It's my safe place. It's painfully personal but weirdly public. It feeds my need to unload, document, create, and grow. I've never been one to really follow the "plan" per se but instead just feel my way through things. Every once in a while, a plan doesn't hurt. I'll be doing a series of posts over the next couple weeks involving some personal growth I've been experiencing lately. Inside each little blog "packet" you'll find random smatterings of fun Emery facts or thoughts mixed in with other things as well. It works for me like a nice blog casserole, if you will. Please welcome the series called...Starving for the Basics. I've been restless recently. Extremely unsatisfied with my current state and that eeks its way into my relationship with Tyler as well as Emery. Living away from each other for almost three months certainly didn't help things either but we do what we have to do in order to pay these darn bills and make things "work". In the last couple of months I've started to feel really guilty about not putting more thought into what I feed my family. Mainly, how much instant food I provide for them even down to something as simple as freaking pancake mix! I love to cook. I have almost an entire unpublished post about cooking and how it's cathartic for me (more on that later). How much time does it really take to just make something from scratch. It's cheaper, this I know, soooo much cheaper and so much better for us. It's fun (for me) to know that I created it from the ground up instead of just popping the top off and sticking it in the microwave. And it sure as heck fire tastes better. What you should know about me is that there is freakshow farm girl trapped in this "city girl" body. I want horses, chickens, goats, gardens, riding lawn mowers (no cows though, those things stiiiiiink!), quiet nights, country air. I also want Sephora, Chipotle, Apple Store, Tijuana Flats, Anthropologie, Williams-Sonoma and Crate Barrel within AT LEAST a 20 minute drive. I like country comforts but the convenience of city life. There's one great change that I've found in myself this last year...I'm really happy in a small town. There, I said it. I like the safety, the community that it has to offer. So in the last few months I've made a concerted effort to make things from scratch, from spaghetti sauce and sloppy joes to cinnamon rolls, pancakes, and pizza dough. I love it! It gives me such creative control over what I actual put in my families bellies. Fresh. Fresh. Fresh from my hands to their tummies. Here's a little disclaimer *I don't think you're a loser if you don't make things from scratch*. Done. I'm reorganizing the way I grocery shop and menu plan. It's going to be tough for me to get my ADHD brain to commit to a task this large but for my sanity and in an effort to budget more effectively it has to happen. And I'm happy to give it a try! So these next posts will fill you in on how, for me, starving for the basics can happen in just about every aspect of my life. The juices are flowin' ya'll buckle up!