Monday, September 3, 2012

On the eve that my sister becomes a mama...

*If I can get through this entire post without any typos it'll be a miracle. My eyes are swollen, snot is dripping down my face...in other words I'm dead sexy right now* I just finished a skype conversation with my big sis who was literally heading out the door to the hospital. It's time. My big sister and very best friend is headed to the hospital right now to begin her "cervical ripening" (read, eww) for her induction in the morning. I love this girl more than quite possibility anyone in the world (sorry Tyler, j/k). Her journey to become a mama is not short of complications and heartbreak. In these last three years she has watched friends, relatives and me become what she had assumed she'd become the first time she was pregnant. What you should know is that she endured three miscarriages (one of which was twins), one D&C, and three colossal blow offs from "professional doctors" in regards to her lack of progress during pregnancy. One said, "you're just unlucky" another mentioned that she'd have to endure yet another miscarriage before they could "diagnos the issue". Thus some of the reasons for my lack of trust in most doctors. My sister? She fought for this baby. She did research, she withheld certain foods (hello gluten free!), she straight up located a doctor ON HER OWN who helped diagnose her issue as a diet change and a bit of a wonky thyroid. SHE found HIM. Once she did become pregnant she discovered she had a blood clotting disorder that required twice daily shots, but did she give up? No way Jose. Of course she had her meltdowns but I'll tell you right now, this woman? This woman is strength. This woman is grace. This woman is a shining example of how to make it through difficulties without losing yourself and boo hooing the entire time. The only time I really ever knew she was struggling was if I asked her point blank..."dude, are you struggling with this at all?". I love her and oh my stars am I going to love her as a mom. And oh my gosh is this child going to experience love and gratefulness like no one else has on this planet. Life has a funny way of stepping in and showing you really who's boss and this time...life didn't allow me the privilege of being there for the birth. Which if you know Kel and I, that's a big freaking deal. We're there. We always show up for each other and just the other day when I was on the boo hoo train I said to her, "Not that you'll actually 'need' me but our relationship is such that there are times when I know I can get through it without you but I'd rather not." That pretty much sums it up. It's not a total sob story because Em and I will be there by Sunday but one thing you should know about me is that I'm totally clutch in situations like this. Pressure? I'm your girl. I'm in there like swimwear finding solutions and working through the miscommunications. I'm like a silent ninja working behind the scenes to obliterate problems before they become problems to those who don't need them. Need food? No problem. I'll drop my People magazine like a bad habit and run to the store to get you your favorite snack food, candy bar and drink and the real ninja-esque part of that is I won't even have to ask what those favorite foods are. This is how I show love to people in my life and I have one really super important person who is bringing my very next favorite important person into the world and I'm literally 1109 miles away. Here is what keeps me from diving head first into a gallon of ice cream while watching Steel Magnolias...the reunion. Next Sunday when she picks me up from the airport and I get to feast my eyes on that little, squishy, delicious smelling miracle. Oh I'm certain there will be tears, because ninja mode will be turned off and doting aunt mode will be turned on. Oh sweet litte baby, you will always know how much your mama and daddy love you. How thankful they are for you. You will also know how much you mean to me as well, and how much I love you. And to my sister and best friend, your poise and perseverance during this time is unprecedented. Your ability to smile through the pain of loss and push through to this final result is nothing short of award winning. Your care, your spirit, your humor, your grace during these last three years is something that I will always admire in you. You are consistently my ninja. My very favorite friend. I love you.

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