Saturday, November 26, 2011

Thankful doesn't even cut it...

I had a little self imposed blog hiatus AKA writers block, but I'm back now. I know all 15 of you have been worried. =)
So we have great, amazing, fantastic, relieving news! Tyler is employed full time as of last Monday at a local counseling facility where he'll be doing chemical dependency and mental health counseling, and boy is it weird! Eight months almost to the day. I'll tell you why it's weird. He has worked from home for the last 4ish years which means I could see him pretty much whenever I wanted since my previous work schedule had me working some evenings. Lets face it, aside from the lack of funds, being unemployed is pretty dang flexible so coming home and having him not here is going to take some getting used to. The truth is, I miss him like crazy and its only been three full days of him working. We are so very thankful for God's provision in our life not just with this new job but also with everything else in the last several months...
Starting with these fabulous folks. Our in-laws. They very graciously offered up their home to let not just the three of us, but also our two dogs. They never gave us a time limit to be out, they only wanted us to get stuff figured out, get jobs and when we were ready...move out. I have nothing but the utmost love and gratitude for them. Our living situation could have been bad. It could have been a clash of personalities, expectations not being met, and a myriad of other things but it just wasn't. Sure there are times where I'm tired of being here but it doesn't have anything to do with them. They have let us borrow their cars on multiple occasions, watched Emery for a quite a few date nights and have provided us with some really good laughs and conversations. We will never ever be able to thank them for everything. We will never ever sufficiently be able to express it. Ever. Not even a little bit, but we sure will try our darndest to make them feel it at least a little bit.
Finally, Emery. Our little spit fire is growing into such a smart and fun little sprite! Her vocabulary continues to expand each and every day, and she recognizes familiar objects in books and will also point them out for me too. She's a total girly girl which is a concept I'm not too familiar with but I think it's fun. She loves jewelry, pretending to put on my chap stick, getting her toes painted, and rocking her baby. She's also very independent. She likes to try things for herself and has done such an amazing job at observing our behavior (a little scary, for sure) that she can almost do it right on the very first try. Putting her lotion on and rubbing it in, brushing her teeth and hair, putting her conditioner in her hair, using a fork, and using her bath mitt to wash during bath time. She looks to us during those times for affirmation almost as if to say..."This is correct, right?". You do NOT put the brush in her hand and guide her. You DO use the brush on your own hair while she watches and then let her try it for herself. She loves to be read to and just recently has pretended to read the books on her own too, just blabbering away and turning the pages, with a random "meow" sprinkled in when she finds her favorite animal the kitty. She'll bring us books, sit in our lap and then when we open to the first page she'll look up at us and at our mouth wondering why we haven't started yet. I love it. I'm in love with this little being so much. She thinks I'm the freaking funniest person on the planet right now which is awesome because it's like I have my own little audience. We're also at the wonderful stage where we have to hide what we're eating otherwise she'll want to eat it too and sometimes peanut butter fudge right before her bedtime is just not acceptable. Oh and the walking...she has such swagger when she walks!!! She saunters around so proud of her new mobility and is especially proud if she can bend down and pick something up without falling down. She's happiest with a pen and paper in her hand like a little reporter getting information for her next big story. When it comes to strangers she's a tough cookie and as a mom it's slightly embarrassing because I want nothing more than for people we love to see her funny little personality. She'll stare you down and sometimes even cry at first glance. But after about an hour or so if you're still around she'll gingerly walk up to you and request with arms raised to be held. Usually it's with guys that she's like this. Tyler couldn't be more happy about that. *hee hee* We continue to be amazed at her little sponge of a brain, and have found ourselves needing to be proactive about censoring certain things. For example...one day I got home from work and there Tyler and Emery were watching CSI. UHHHHHHHHHH.
We entered into another holiday season focusing on giving thanks during an interesting year. A year that has stretched us into two completely different people. Same values. Different priorities. Sometimes the focus of positive things is trumped by the worry of bill paying and saving for a move out. Sometimes it isn't. Sometimes I'm overwhelmed by this odd transition and sometimes I'm excited by it. All the time I'm thankful for a God who has a plan for our family and continues to amaze us. Hope you hall had an amazing Thanksgiving...be thankful.

Friday, November 4, 2011

Focusing on the positive...

It's no mystery that we're in an interesting place right now as a family. Tyler is going on eight months of being unemployed (full time), and I can't believe sometimes how fast it goes and other times how slow it goes. For him I know it's slow. For him I know that it's pure anguish. For us, the both of us, I know that it's a lesson in patience. A big one. Both of us equally have control issues, they just manifest themselves in different ways. Mine is wanting control over immediate situations and outcomes so I know that I'll get the most out of it and won't be disappointed. So selfish, this I know and trust me it's a deficit that I know needs to be altered. Tyler's is control over timing. He imagines scenarios and their outcomes based on when HE thinks things should work out. These last eight months have rocked our freaking world. We have been shown things about our character, our finances, spiritual relationship with Christ, parenting techniques, our health etc. and I know that years down the road this whole thing will make sense. This whole thing will be a true life change and one that we're truly able to see from start to finish as making complete sense. It did with Emery's amazing story and I know that it will with ours. Over the last couple weeks things have been pretty intense, bills are getting paid later, money is getting stretched tighter and tighter, job opportunities are fewer and farther between. But there's this one job opportunity that's interesting, and a possibility. An interview has already taken place and now we wait to see what the part may be and prayers would be appreciated. I've learned a lot about myself and I'm seeing clearly what God wants to teach us through this. We have no control. He always knows best for our current situation and we need to trust Him. During this time I've really honestly tried to focus on the good things, the things I'm thankful for and while that sounds totally "Pollyanna" it really helps keep me in check with a little thing I like to call, gratitude. I'm grateful for God allowing the three of us to stay healthy. We haven't had health insurance in several months and we have had NO major illnesses that require a doctors visit. We've been able to spend some quality time with Emery, which is very refreshing given the fact we only had a few weeks off of work when we first brought her home. As it turns out, she's a very addicting person to be around and I miss my time with her since I've gone back to work. Tonight I pointed out to Tyler that more than likely none of our other future children will have that much time with him...what a special gift to her. We have detoxed from "whim" purchases for sure, and learned to appreciate what we have already instead of wanting the next and greatest. And through that we've also learned how "stuff" can overwhelm you and change you. We've had more thought provoking relationship conversations as well, and have learned a lot about each other even after nine and a half years of marriage. We have food, clothes, a roof over our head, warm blankets, clean water, great families, and the list goes on.
So we continue waiting on God's timing in our job search. Accepting that we have no control over the outcome and praying completely for His strength in our thoughts and actions to let go.