Sunday, September 18, 2011

Pain in all forms...

Two weeks ago, I received an email that was unprecedented. One of my dearest friends, who was a pioneer for our adoption and a faithful blog stalker was diagnosed with stage three breast cancer. It was so surreal. I was in complete denial, and true to form I retreated into silence for a several hours before I even spoke to her. I had to process. I must process. I was afraid for her, and the emotional pain she was feeling at the time as well as the physical pain she is going to endure in the following months. It's sometimes so weird to me that one little word can completely change someone's life. Since the day she was diagnosed most of her time is spent at doctors appointments, researching her treatment options etc. and you know what? It's just not fair. Just yesterday while I was skyping with her and my sister Kelly it sort of hit me. All three of us have experienced pain in all different ways. Miscarriages, almost adoptions/job losses, and now a disease. I looked at the two of them and all I saw was strength and resilience. There is still no baby for my sister, but she fights for that baby every day. And now my friend, who will begin her fight on Friday when she arrives for her first session of Chemo.

Here is what I know about her:
1. She is HILARIOUS.
2. She has the best laugh of all laughs on this planet.
3. She is no nonsense.
4. She is a lover AND a fighter. =)
5. She is encouraging.
6. She is an UNBELIEVABLE cook.
7. She will beat this. It will not beat her.

I'm struggling with how to be there for her while I'm one thousand miles away. The way I show my support is by actually showing up. Helping with transportation. Random surprises of flowers, or favorite candies etc. While some people might have been relieved to not actually have to see the pain take its toll. I am not. I am trapped by a distance that takes me 18 hours to drive or 2.5 hours to fly. This will be a learning experience for me. How to show love and support and pain and all of that at a distance. Please pray for my friend. Pray for healing and for her body to fight this disease with all that it has.

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