Tuesday, May 10, 2011

Mother's Day...

This Mother's Day was packed full of many different emotions. We're moving. Out of state back to the grand old land of corn, cows and mosquitoes...Indiana. Now lets get one thing straight...I hate Florida. I know that might sound really strange since people tend to vacation here but I seriously loathe this state...the weather (except for like January-March) is not my style, the scenery really isn't that fantastic, I miss the seasons. I miss the leaves changing, snow, ice, scraping, salting, snot freezing cold. There's one thing though that makes Florida worth it. My family...we're big, we're dysfunctional, disorganized, but we laugh and joke and usually spend our Sunday evenings together. So this Mother's Day I was thinking about how I probably won't be with my own mama next year, I was thinking how much I'll miss her random phone calls and birthday dinners. I was thinking about how much I love her, and the sacrifices she made for all of us kids growing up. I was thinking about all her good qualities and how much I want to soak all of those in and pass them along to my little bug. I was also contemplating how strange it is to be a mom, to have this day mean something totally different for me than my last 28 years. I know eventually this day will hold more weight, more tradition and such. So for now, I just enjoyed my little girl who was completely out of character that morning and a pinch on the cuddly side! I also found myself thinking of FM...obviously this day is probably not celebratory for her by any stretch of the imagination. I mean technically she is a mother, but she doesn't have a child to show for it. Once again I'm brought to my knees in prayer for her and the heartbreak she must be facing during these special "first holiday's". She gave me the greatest gift ever, selflessness in the form of my girl. Happy Mother's Day FM... hang tight one day you'll be able to celebrate this day with a child in your arms.

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