Thursday, November 11, 2010

What will we say?...

As we near our very first visit with FM, on December 6th, I start to get a little nervous. We haven't seen her in a couple months, Emery is getting bigger and healthier and she's just so gorgeous...I'm afraid she'll want her back. Legally, a lot of things would have to take place in order for that to actually happen so my concern isn't warranted really. For now these visits will be pretty easy, in my opinion. Emery won't be talking yet, she won't be trying to figure out the connection, she won't be asking questions. When you step into this unknown world of open adoption at first it seems fantastic. It seems like the perfect situation, you are able to get so much information because you maintain contact with the birth family but I'm not sold on it yet. Not until I get this first visit under my belt.
This whole thing has me thinking about what we'll say when Emery gets older in regards to FM. I mean obviously Emery will always know she's adopted (even if her skin color was the same as ours). What will we have Emery call her FM? It's just such a huge responsibility to be honest about the situation and represent the facts well but also to generate a little compassion in the situation too. Who knows if FM will continue the visits, I mean really it's up to her. I'm scattered in this post...usually at this point I'll erase certain parts of it and try and start over but this time what you see is what you get.

1 comment:

  1. We had our first visit with Abbott's birthmom, Jessy (and his half-sister, Ella) last month. They came for his baptism and it was so sweet having his whole family there! I was worried about it too, but Jessy said it wasn't weird or awkward for her at all. She knew she made the right decision and was just happy to see him happy, healthy and loved by so many people. We also don't know what the future will hold for our famiy & hers, but thankful that many of his questions will be able to be answered by having her in our lives.