Tuesday, September 7, 2010

To rise above and persevere...

I've had this rolling around in my noggin' for the last week or so and it's only just now that I'm able to put my fingers to these buttons and put these thoughts to words. A friend of mine has a foster daughter right now who has been through the ringer...I mean if you even THINK you've had it bad, her story is just unreal. Abandoned by her mother, her father was unable to care for her, she's been bounced from foster home to foster home, was adopted for two years and then "returned" because they couldn't "handle" her behavior, and is now in her 3rd or 4th foster home since March. A couple weeks ago her father (whom she had seen just a couple months ago for the first time in like 6 years) passed away. Her 19 year old brother is left to plan a funeral. Seriously??? As if this 12 year old hasn't had enough challenges in her little life, enough heartache to fill a life time. After hearing this I asked Tyler, "How the heck do you teach a young child to rise above and persevere through such horror?". I mean there are plenty of people who have experienced horrible things in their life and have gone on to be very successful and notable individuals, but who taught them that? Is it just something built inside every one of us and we just have to be lucky enough to unearth it? How do I teach my future foster children that they can change their lot in life when the most pain and suffering I've been through in 27 years of living doesn't even begin to compare to their ten? I'm asking all these questions to myself and I have yet to come up with any good answers. If you ever wonder what the heck Tyler and I are thinking by doing fostering (which I can't imagine that you would since I've made it abundantly clear in most posts) this is why. That little girl is the answer. She's hurting, she's callous, she's distant, unemotional, abandoned, an orphan, and in her eyes...not good enough for not only one, but two sets of "parents". She doesn't want a new mommy or daddy, she wants HER mommy and HER daddy. She wants what everyone talks about, normalcy. Her normal isn't anything like her friends normal. She is why we want this for our family right now. I know it'll hurt and I know that we'll encounter children on many occasions who don't appreciate the home and bed we'll give them but guess what...I don't care. Later in life, if we're the only friendly and loving face they can remember that's enough for me.


  1. My totally awesome Mother tells me that I should always plant seeds, one day they will sprout beautiful flowers! The older I get the more obvious it becomes.
    Aunt Lu

  2. The key to fostering resiliency in our youth is loving, consistent adults who make them feel like they belong. Something that is in your DNA my dear!