You know that one thing that you're super passionate about? The one thing that you research, engage in, learn and grow in? The one thing that you could do/talk about for hours on end? For me, that one thing is foster parenting and adoption, and what's so strange to me is that I technically haven't done "it" yet but at the same time I feel like I have. Every Wednesday night I jam my ADHD self into a stuffy room for 3 hours and 15 minutes so I can learn how to be the best foster parent to these broken babies and I'm telling you...time flies. I wish it were six hours long. I can't soak up enough info or ask enough questions or share my passion for this enough in 3 hours! What's even better about the whole thing is that the other 10 people in my class feel the same way. Most of them are going straight adoption but that's ok because we all get "it". We've all answered the call to foster or adopt and we're excited to be around other people who are doing the same. My heart literally aches for these children who are abused and neglected or might age out of the system, but when I look around the room at all of us there is such hope! That at the end of this class there will be 11 viable parenting options. People who are willing to go through the nitty gritty of the foster care system in order to be "parents" to these damaged children.
Right now I'm freaking out. I'm freaking out because the place we're supposed to move into isn't going to be ready by the first of July like it was supposed to. We have to be out by the first because someone is moving in right after us. I'm panicking because I'm packing boxes and arranging things without any knowledge of where me, Tyler and the pups will go. I don't know where I should forward our mail to, whether or not I'll be able to get into the new place before we head off for vacation in July. I just don't like the unknown when it comes to our living situation and it really has me thinking the last couple of days....in some small way I can relate to my future "for a little bit" children and how they must feel most of the time. What will the foster parents look like? Will the bed be comfortable? What kind of food will they be feeding me? Will they have other children? What if someone needs to get a hold of me? How long will I be here? They have to deal with so much unrest in their life, for most of their life and here I am freaking out because I might have to find some place to stay for the first two weeks in July. I honestly can't imagine laying my head down on my pillow at night and having it not mean "home" to me.
Tyler and I both said to each other tonight that we are more excited about foster parenting than we ever were about international adoption. We still love the idea and want to do it some day but the path we're on right now seems so much clearer than any path we've been on in the last nine months.