Wednesday, April 21, 2010

And another one bites the dust...

So, I've been checking my mailbox like an idiot for the last three weeks waiting impatiently for the ShowHope decision. They told me the end of March beginning of April, and they were definitely last minute that's for sure. Finally on Friday night we got the answer we had certainly NOT been hoping for. Basically due to the hundreds of applications they receive monthly there's no way they could give everyone financial assistance. This sucks. I'm not asking for them to give us the rest of the money. But not even a little bit? We were both sad but like I mentioned before, I was not expecting this one to come through at all. We still have another one out there that we won't hear from until June I think, maybe that one will turn up some results. Until then we continue to collect our change, sell some things and make changes in our budget in an effort to try and cover the cost of this bad boy...I've come to the conclusion that I have to stop planning life around this baby. There are necessary plans that have to be made, this I know, but I have to stop thinking our child will be here soon because each holiday or vacation that has come and gone without them only breaks my heart. I have to plan that maybe baby won't be here, that way I'm not devastated when the trip or holiday has come and gone. Why I didn't figure this out earlier on in the process I don't know...oh wait, I'm impatient that's right, that's why I torture myself.
In the meantime we wait another 6-8 weeks to hear back from the another grant place. Another 6-8 weeks...we'll be moving by then, almost on vacation by then, this year is flying by and in our case I wish it would just slow down, just a little.

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