Monday, March 22, 2010

Risk is risk is risk is....

I've discovered over the last few months that risk when starting a family comes in all forms. It's risky, this adoption game. Birth mother's changing their minds, the cost, the unpredictability. Since this process began I've known someone who has miscarried twice and just now another who lost their newborn daughter to a condition she had from conception. I started to think to myself, people remind me all the time how unpredictable and risky adoption may be. They like to ask questions like "Why don't you just have one of your own and then you wouldn't have to pay so much?" or "Aren't you scared the birth mom will change her mind and come back for her child?". "It's so risky". Well guess what, people who should mind their own business and not ask rude questions, child birth is risky. Why don't you go over to the pregnant woman and ask her if she's worried that the child is going to be born with webbed feet?! Pregnancy is risky. IVF is risky. Having a surrogate is risky. It's risk in the name of love and parenthood. It's a risk you take paying thousands upon thousands of dollars to be able to carry your own biological child, a risk that you take carrying a child full term when you know she may not live a day, a risk when your as planned natural delivery turns suddenly into a C-section, a risk when the fertilized whatever it is doesn't attach in the right place, it's a risk to rely on a mother to follow through with her decision to give her child away. It's crazy what us women will do in the name of being a mother, we'll get fat and waddly, shoot ourselves up with hormones more than once a day, ask some lady to carry our spawn and pay an agency the price of a brand new car to make our dream of becoming a mother a reality. All in the name of love. I'm down with that.

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