Friday, January 22, 2010

I can't sleep...

It’s 1:04 am on Friday, I have to get up in six hours for work and I just can’t make my brain stop long enough for me to trick myself into sleep.

Truth is, I can’t stop thinking about him. I know I said we were moving on, and we most certainly are however, I didn’t say that I would forget. We were thisclose, just hours away from making this a reality. We held him, and made plans for him. I thought yesterday would be the hard day, you know? Thinking things like, it’s 11:00 am and we’d be taking him home right now. He would be in our car, in our life. I thought when I walked in the door last night from work, that I’d find my house full of visitors who wanted to meet the new little guy. I’d find Tyler manning the fort with this brand new life, waiting for me to come home so we could go to sleep that night as a family of three. I fell in love with the idea that my Tivo’d shows would be piling up because I wouldn’t have time to watch them exactly when I wanted. Well the facts are, my back seat is empty, when I walked in from work last night there were no visitors, I’m all caught up on my shows, and last night and tonight and every night until our dream comes true we went to bed just the two of us...instead of three.

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