Monday, December 7, 2009

I can honestly say I didn't expect this to happen Part One...

I can’t even express what this last week has been like. When I began the first week of December I certainly did not expect to start the second week like this.

On Friday we received an email from our social worker who wanted to ask a few questions because she had over the previous few days began writing our home study. She informed us that because we didn’t have enough assets (i.e. own a home or have any real investments), that the chances of us being able to adopt internationally would probably not happen. However she did indicate that we would be approved for a domestic adoption pending additional fees that we’d have to pay in order to modify that on our home study. I was crushed but resilient. I thought to myself, it doesn’t matter where are our child comes from with adoption the end result is always the same. We help a child have a promising future and we have the blessing of being their parents...whether they came from Africa or Alabama. We decided to find out more about domestic adoption (laws, cost, placement times etc.). We spent this past weekend going through different plans of action. We were supposed to have a fundraising garage sale on Saturday in hopes that we might be able to cover our dossier fee, but it rained for 48 hours straight and we had to reschedule for this coming weekend. We knew that we would have to wait until Monday to see if Jan was able to get in contact with anyone from immigration in regards to our assets vs. liability issue. (As a side note, in the beginning when we did some research we were of the understanding, and obviously an extremely false understanding, that we only had to be a certain percentage over the poverty level of whatever country it was that we were adopting from). I received an email from Jan today stating that as of the way things were looking we weren’t even going to be approved for a domestic adoption unless we could come up with some other form of income or even maybe something we forgot to include in our original paperwork that we filed. Suffice it to say....nothing as of right now is going to change with that. We don’t have some rich long lost Uncle that can buy us a house and fix our student loans. There are many frustrations all of which I’m not going to discuss because they would be more complaints and I’m trying to lay off my complaining. Instead I will share with you all the things that God prevented us from doing that saved us some serious heartache.

  1. He didn’t allow us to send out our support letters. We’ve had our letter completed for over a month but haven’t found the time to sit down together, print them out, and then mail them. This would have been awful if we had sent it out. We would have wasted money on postage and supplies not to mention we would have to send back any donations we did receive.
  2. He didn’t allow our home study agency to approve a home study that wouldn’t pass immigration. That alone saved us about an additional $700.
  3. He didn’t allow us to hold a garage sale to raise funds for our adoption and we’re still trying to decide what to do with all the stuff and also what we’ll do with the money that we raise. We intend on contacting the individuals who donated items and ask them if they’d be ok if we donated the funds raised to another couple who is adopting from Ethiopia.

So....where do we go from here? Well friends, we’re going to pick up the pieces of our broken hearts and continue our journey towards adoption. It may take a little while, and it’s going to be very hard to explain along the way but we know beyond a shadow of a doubt that we have been tried and tested and we know what us Zielasko’s are capable of. We know that God knows what we’re capable of. We know that when we resume our adoption process again because we ABSOLUTELY will, that we will be able to bring a child to a more financially viable situation. We have made promises to each other in the last few days to take our finances more seriously. We have said from the very beginning that we were following God’s lead wholeheartedly and we are not going to continue on a path that He does not want us on. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve cried every day for the last three days, snot, swollen eyes...the whole bit. I mourned the loss of the idea of us bringing our child home this coming year, of becoming a mother for the first time, and seeing Tyler as a dad RIGHT NOW, but I know it’s not forever. Please continue to pray for us as we let people know that this process has come to a screeching halt. Please pray that we will be vigilant in our efforts to better ourselves physically, spiritually, and financially. Obviously the format of this blog will change considerably but I’ll still be using it as an outlet for other things, so I insist that you please....read on.

Hebrews 10:39 “But we are not those who turn back and are lost. We are people who have faith and are saved.”

Hebrews 11:1 “Faith means being sure of the things we hope for and knowing that something is real even if we do not see it.”

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