Yesterday I received an email from Holt updating all of the families in process about some changes. They were basically just letting everyone know that they are still matching families who haven’t even finished their dossier yet SO that means there is a possibility that we would be invoiced for both the dossier fee and the country fee ($3,000 & $9890). Then they informed us that if we weren’t financially or emotionally ready top accept those double invoices then we needed to inform them to NOT put us on the wait list. When I got this email I was crushed. This whole time I’ve been excited at how quickly things are moving when in reality they can only move as quickly as our bank account will allow. I never imagined that things would move this quickly and I always expected to raise the country fee while we were waiting for our referral (which was supposed to be anywhere from 3-5 months). I internalize everything, which as a general rule isn’t a great quality and in a marriage is a TERRIBLE quality. I sat there yesterday afternoon torturing myself with this information and didn’t share it with Tyler. It had nothing to do with the fact that I didn’t want him to know it’s just a bad habit of mine and it took over in full force yesterday. I was so sad. I was discouraged. I felt so helpless. I can’t imagine the issue of money keeping me from my child but in adoption it absolutely does. When we decided to follow God’s choice for our family through adoption we knew we were stepping out in faith, we knew that there would be road blocks and that the cost would be immense. The truth is that if money were no object we would probably bring our baby home by spring but alas money is always the issue. God continue’s to bless us with people donating for our garage sale, friends of friends of friends who are giving us their stuff to help raise money for this adoption and for that we are truly grateful. We’ve had people purchase 10 bags of coffee for Christmas gifts and another person randomly give us $100. Its been neat to see who this adoption is touching and what they have been willing to sacrifice in order to help bring this child from a potentially life threatening existence to a country where clean running water is never out of reach, and preventable diseases are just that...preventable.
Anywho, please continue to pray for us, that we’ll be able to raise the funds necessary to bring our little one home. Pray for patience and perseverance. Pray for good ideas on raising money. Pray that once our home study is finished that the grants we apply for will find favor with us and we’ll receive grant money. Pray for our little one...that they will remain safe and know that soon they’ll be home with us.
Hebrews 10:36 “You must hold on, so you can do what God wants and receive what he has promised.”