Tuesday, October 20, 2009

My soapbox...

There are a few soapboxes that are close to my heart and ones that I rarely get on unless I’m feisty enough and am faced with that soapbox directly. Today my soapbox strangely enough happened at the tire place (I had a leak in my tire and I go to this SUPER shady place on the other side of town where the tires are cheap and almost brand new). This neighborhood is no good, low income, high crime but like I said cheap tires. While I’m waiting there watching this dude fix my tire, my soapbox arrives in the form of 2 dudes, probably early twenties, screaming up in their car and park me in (thanks), they get out of the car smoking cigarettes (this is important later in the story) and clearly know the guy who owns the tire place. One dude who is hanging back a little says “oh yeah man, I have a baby”….he opens up the back door and sure enough there she is. Little girl, probably 5 months old, stuck in a seat, with two dudes tooling around town enjoying their cigarettes while little girl is stuck in her seat! The dad starts saying something to her like “the octopus is going to get you, watch out”…wow…as we’re leaving the dad hops into the passenger seat and turns up his music and increases the bass thump. Fantastic. Is this a normal afternoon for her? In her seat in the car with her dad and his irresponsible friend? Does she get read to or played with, fed on time or bathed regularly? Does he hug her and kiss her or just stick her in the seat and pass time until her mom gets home? What is her life going to be like? I felt sad, and felt like I needed to do something. I always feel this way when I see children in situations like that, it sucks, just plain sucks. How is it that I just spent my day answering questions about my health, getting blood work done, and blood pressure taken but all that dude had to do was have sex and get his girl pregnant…no questions asked. Don’t get me wrong, Tyler and I CHOSE this way, God chose this way for Tyler and I, as far as we know the ability for us to have children biologically is still there. I have not been faced with the harsh reality that I am in fact, infertile. In fact, I don’t think I’ll ever want to know if I am. I don’t think we’ll ever make that appointment with the fertility specialist and hear the words that it CAN’T happen…I’m good with the fact that adoption is our option unless otherwise noted. I got to thinking as I watched little girl in the car, at some point in time me and this dude shared an equal lack of experience, but I still am broken in situations like this. I wanted to go over to him and smash his cigarette in the ground and scream and yell that it’s not a great idea to blow smoke in your babies face while she’s sitting in the car!!!! I want to say that she probably should have been taking a nap or having a little snack at home!!!! Do you really think it’s a fantastic idea to make your horrifying music louder?!!! I wanted to say just give her to me!!! I think I missed my calling in life when I didn’t go the route of being in children’s advocacy or something because I literally could tear people’s heads off sometimes when I see or hear what they’re doing to their children. I know I’m not going to be the perfect parent, I know I’ll make a thousand mistakes and probably lose my temper more times than I can count, I know that I’ll hurt their feelings sometimes but I can guarantee that I will give my child a chance to be someone great.

1 John 3:18 ”My children, we should love people not only with words and talk, but by our actions and true caring”.

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